I have only one child but I got a relection for you to think about. I'm a middle child of a family of three children. I know this will be a long post so please bear with me! I have an older brother and a younger sister; we all are 2 years and 2 months apart in age. My mother never had a problem handling three youngsters in stores, outtings or public places in general. When shopping, each one of us had to have a hand "on the shopping cart" a classic habit I still carry on today as an Adult. If my daughter or husband was pushing the cart I'm "right there" holding on...LOL. But seriously....Here is my persepctive on a family of three.

My brother was always the second outlook for Mom and us two girls, a role he dutifully still dominates today. Do you want that pressure on your oldest? He was the one that "had to watch us" in younger years and in older years. For example: When my parents went to Jamaica for thier wedding anniversary and left him "in charge". At that time we were 18, 16, and 14. I made this chore a living hell for David. I had it in my mind that HE wasn't in control of me and did practically everything the opposite what he told me to do. David was very good in the skill of "creating" a basic argument between my little sister and I to the point that we would fight and argue, David will step aside and watch us like two stupid monkeys as a form of entertainment. Angela and I finally caught on in our later teens years to put a stop to HIS entertainment. I see my brother as a pompus dominator. He still carries that chip on his shoulder thinking he can dictate my adult life, when I decided to homeschool our daughter he was trying to tell me that homeschooled children don't have a social life, or when I decide to do something for the best of my family, he argues the other way. He is 44, not married and has no children and lives across the bay. He is married to his life of work and the tech department of a local theatre he helps with. David's ability to be the "responsible one" and "reliable one"  as the eldest is what I see in the birth order.

Now my sister Angela, I label her as "the one who could do no wrong". Whatever I did in the past, if she did it two years later it was no big deal. If I snuck out to see my boyfriend, I got in trouble but when my sister borrowed mom's car and drove it from Salisbury to Crisfield to see her boyfriend, nothing was done (of course in my eyes) as a punishment. My parents hated my boyfriend of six years, and future husband. They loved her boyfriend and she married him after  three months of knowing him. She ended up being married for 10 years and going all over Europe because he was in the military and finally settling down in Texas. So now in the future the tales have turned. I'm still married and she is divorced with two boys. Mom and Dad had to foot her expenses to get her back home and to help her support throughout the divorce. My parents "LOVE" my husband now and hate her ex!

But my major point in all of this is; how would your son adjust to being the "middle child". All my life and even today I feel like "the black sheep" of the family. David was reponsible and Angela could do no wrong. This was a constant struggle for me, harder in my teen years. I felt like I didn't belong, breaking rules and a lot of misunderstandings of comminucation between me and mom. At the age of 18, a day after Graduation, I moved out! I got married, made my own life and raise our child together with hubby. Today, I get along well with my mother and family. My mother-in-law and I even have a better relationship, for she to came from a family that had an older brother and a younger sister. We both understand that unspoken feeling of the "black sheep syndrome". My mother would tell you "I love all three of you the same", but somehow I still personally think it is different that what she is saying. I saw support in many ways with the other two siblings where I didn't see any. Angela has borrowed $$$$ from mom and dad but once when I needed an extra dollars to make a move for the rental truck, the note of an IOU is still sitting on my parents post board out there for all to see. Hurtful and tacky, yes...hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say.

Does this mean it will happen to your family, problably not, but COULD it happen...yeah, it might. Each family is different, but this is how I feel as an middle child.

I have 4 children. My oldest is 18 and was 10 when I met Dale. He had a son at the time that was 4. I got pregnant shortly after we got together. I never thought about Noah being a middle child and getting less attention. We went so easily into becoming a family 4. Noah never felt left out or "the middle child". Why, because my attention was on each child as an indiviual. I never made Susan babysit or look after the younger ones. She was older and had her own things. The two younger ones had theirs. It is harder work IMO going from 1 to 2, than it is going from 2-3. You add one more to the mix and things really arent that much different because by the time the 3rd ones comes along you are a pro at managing multiple things at one time.

3yrs after number 3 came I had number 4. And that was even easier. Susan is now 18 and still has never felt like she wa the one who "looked" after the younger ones. Dale & I make sure each individual child gets one on one time. And undivided attention. It could be me taking one to the grocery store, or shopping, Dale taking them fishing or crabbing, running to the WaWa one gets to go, playing videos games with Dale, reading a book or helping with dinner.

I think if you put your mind to it, none of your children will feel left out, ignored or a middle child. My house is loud, chaotic and their are fights between the kids, but there is so much love. Each child is loved for his own person. And I think that I did a great job of making sure they each get time with me.

I am the oldest of 3 and was 10 when my brother was born. Now I did help look after him only because my parents were going through a divorce. But I don't harbor any negative feelings towards my mother. It helped me become the Mother I am today. My sister is the middle child and I don't think she felt the middle child syndrom. She has never expressed this to me. She had 3 children of her own.

I think that 3 or more children are wonderful. I love a big family and I know that my kids, especially the 3 boys will be best friends and there for each other. The are inseperable now and take up for one another all the time.

The only draw back of having more than 2 is that I used to pride myself on being early. Now I am not as early as I would like. Most of the time I am right on time or 5 mins late. Sometimes getting everyone ready and out of the house is a hassle. But honestly if I could have 2 more kids I would. I always wanted 6 kids.

I love my big family and I think you will love having 3 kids. So since I may be a little predjudice because I have 4 kids, I say go for it! I know you will be fine and so will the kiddos!

Delmarva Moms Like Me Discussion Leader

Here is my take on 3 children and it's based solely on the fact that I've just had my 3rd daughter.  I only have 1 brother so I can't say from personal experience yet.  I too felt like our family wasn't complete without the 3rd.  I really hoped for a boy, but wouldn't trade my 3 girls for anything, after all we know exactly what to do with girls! :) 

It's been much easier to go from 2 to 3 then it was from 1 to 2 children.  Maybe that's because our baby is super good, maybe it's because we are older and even more laid back and go with the flow, I'm not really sure.  Our newest addition(6 wks old) loves to be snuggled and swaddled so I happily strap her on, wether in the sling or bjorn carrier, put the middle one(3) into the cart & have the oldest(6) hold the side while in the store.  I think at this point our oldest is too young for any real responsibility where the baby is concerned, but she loves to hold her, and always wants to be with her.   

Now my husband is the oldest of 3 boys, and their family dynamic is very different.  His middle brother has always been the favorite.  He had a heart condition as a child and was always treated differently.  The different levels of discipline in the 3 boys as a result of the middle one's heart problems made a huge difference in how they were raised and the men they became.  That being the case, my husband and I are very aware to treat the girls equally, while still trying to nurture their individuality!!  

I guess only time will tell if 3 was the perfect number for us, but I do feel like our 3rd daughter has completed our family!!  However if my husband told me tomorrow he wanted another child, I would be all for it! :)

I just wanted to thank you for giving me some good opinions and things to think about. Of course, the way my kids were acting this week, I'm ready to give 'em away instead of add more! Stupid time change got them all out of whack!